My Cat Likes to Floss

My cat, Marco Polo, likes to floss his teeth.

I'm not sure how or even why it all got started. I mean, it's not like he can hold the floss between his paws...well, not exactly. He's managed to train me how to do that for him. He is, after all, a charming poser kind of cat. He's all black and happens to understand how beautiful he can look when he's framed by the doorway, laying down on a red blanket, or sitting 'just so' on the window sill. Maybe that's why he likes to keep his teeth shiny and white. Maybe it was originally the sound of the floss being pulled out of the container that attracted him. Maybe it's because he likes to play with string when I let him have the chance. Only when supervised, of course. I'm sure he'd be happy to swallow it down, given the chance, and then impact his intestines or twist them in some horrible fashion that would require surgery at the very least. That's just one of those crazy things cats do.

This is the same cat, after all, that electrocuted himself a few years ago by chewing on my desk lamp power cord. Got the shock of his life, literally. He never chewed on wires and electric cords again, thank goodness.

Interestingly, he's very particular about which brand of floss he likes. It has to be Crest Glide floss in mint flavor. Believe me, I tried cheaper brands once I realized how demanding he is about flossing regularly every night. But, no, it had to be Glide.


He's much better and persistent about flossing than I am. Every night as soon as he realizes that I'm about to brush my teeth (and hopefully floss afterwards...like I said, he's better than I am), he sits patiently at my feet and waits. Waits till I open the right side drawer. Waits till I pull out the floss container. And if I immediately don't offer him some floss, he will ask for it. The demanding type of meow that lets me know he wants something. Now.

I pull out the floss, wrap it around my fingers, bend down and present it to him. He immediately starts to purr and starts chewing up and down the line. It is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen this silly cat do. He's extremely focused and will have the most bizarre expression on his face with his eyes bulging and tongue rasping along the floss strand. He will even move his head side to side to reach the front and the far back teeth. When he's almost finished, I'll release one side of the floss so he can grab that end with his mouth and like a string of spaghetti in reverse, I'll pull at the floss so it goes through his front teeth. He likes to do that a couple of times before I say, "Enough".

I wonder how long this will last...